Without You
by TheAnimeFicWriter
Summary: Secretary Ships have always had a major responsibility in the war, but how much can they take before it's just too much. Join our lovely ladies as they discover themselves as warships and lovers
1. Chapter 1

Without You

Chapter 1

A Memory

 **Note:** Sorry about taking so long with a KanColle story, but it's finally here. If you didn't know, this is probably my favorite ship so I'm going to try to make it the best one yet so I hope you enjoy and be sure to let me know how I did.

"What are you saying?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't have this distraction in my life. I'm moving out."

…

Mutsu's eyes shot wide open as she sat up from her bed. She quickly looked around the dark room and saw that she was by herself. At that moment, she looked down beside her and saw that it was empty. A tear fell from her eye as she quickly wiped it away. That dream again. She fell back and stared at the ceiling. Why did this have to happen? She threw her arm over her eyes and sighed.

"Why can't I just let this go?" For the rest of the night, Mutsu was up thinking about that horrible day. She didn't want to think about it, but her mind just wouldn't stray away from it.

When morning came around, she fell out of bed as limp as rag doll. That was one horrible night of sleep. She looked at the clock and saw that she had enough time before she had to report to HQ. She slowly got onto her feet and headed to her personal shower. When she stepped inside, she quickly felt that it was a lot bigger when it was just her. Nagato didn't last long in her room, but when she was there, they always showered together which made it feel homier. Once she was done, she put on her headpiece and made her way to HQ. She stepped through the door and was immediately intercepted by Nagato. She was walking by with papers and a serious look on her face.

"Good morning." She didn't respond.

"Admiral just updated his orders so let's get on them as soon as possible."

"Aye." Ooyodo was at her usual post taking her orders from Nagato. Of course they would already be hard at work. Nagato was entrusted as Secretary Ship not too long ago so she wanted to make sure that she completed her tasks to the letter. Mutsu sighed, realizing that Nagato wasn't going to acknowledge her, and brought her hand up to her forehead.

"Mutsu, reporting for duty," she said at attention.

"Good. We sent a squadron out this morning for a reconnaissance mission. Your orders are over there so contact them to make sure everything matches up."

"Aye." She dropped her arm and slowly walked over to the other side of the room. She picked up the orders and saw that they were to survey a supposed area for where the Abyssals are stationed. She examined everything else and radioed in to the squadron. Everything was going according to plan so Mutsu was placed on reserve if they got any new information. Unfortunately, nothing new came in so she kind of felt a little wasted in her efforts. When she looked back to the other side of the room, she saw Nagato urgently doing everything. Since nothing was coming in over the radio, she walked over to her and placed her hand on top of Nagato's. "Do you need any help?"

"No, I'm fine. Admiral entrusted me with these orders and I plan to see them through to the end." At that moment, Mutsu knew that there was nothing she could so. Once this girl made up her mind, there was no changing it. She sighed quite loudly and walked over to Ooyodo's desk.

"So any word on the Abyssal base?"

"Not yet. Our reconnaissance mission this morning hasn't radioed in with anything so we can only assume that it was a failure."

"I see. Thank you."

For the rest of the day, Mutsu didn't really have anything to do. Nagato was hard at work while she was simply standing there watching. After some time, the reconnaissance mission returned so she decided to go out and welcome them back. Thankfully, there were no losses, but the looks of sadness filled all of their faces. They wanted to prove useful, but that mission was a completely failure. They slowly unpacked their things and headed to the café to try and clear and their heads. Mutsu watched them carefully and could see herself in their actions. They were both sad that their efforts more recognized. Once they made it to the café, she returned to HQ where she saw Nagato sitting in front of the map. This was a strange sight since Nagato was to antsy to sit in a chair.

"Anything?"

"Unfortunately not. The Admirals been hard at work so we're just waiting for another order." She suddenly slammed her fist on the table. "I hate waiting." Mutsu examined her carefully and saw so much frustration on her face. She walked over to and put her hands on her shoulders.

"It's alright. Stuff like this requires time. We'll end this war soon enough." Although she was trying to comfort her, the tension in her shoulders remained the entire time.

"Time isn't on our side. We have to move fast. Every second we wait, they control more of our seas and I can't stand that thought." There was so much Mutsu wanted to do, but it was just impossible. Nagato was so straight headed that her methods would just be useless with her.

"When was the last time you got a good night's rest?"

"How can I rest when we're in the middle of a war?" Immediately, she knew she asked the wrong question. "I have to be focused, just like the Admiral. If he needs my help, I will gladly accept any request." There it was. There was no turning back from that. Mutsu finally released her hands from her shoulders in sadness. She walked around to the other side of the table and saw Nagato shove her face into her hands. What could she possibly do for this girl? A few minutes went by and she saw the sun clear the horizon.

"I will take my leave now." Nagato gave her a simple groan to acknowledge her departure. She closed the door behind her and headed back to her room.

The entire she walked back, Nagato was on her mind. She was such a strong girl, in heart and soul, but there was no way she could do this by herself. Obviously, the Admiral is doing most of the work and she's doing the other things, but this can't go on for long. I have to help her, somehow… but how do I do that? She wishes to be responsible for everything so it would almost be impossible to aid her in this. When she finally got home, she walked inside and slammed her face against the pillow.

Why do things have to be like this?

End of Chapter 1


	2. Chapter 2

Without You

Chapter 2

Separation is a Difficult Thing

The next morning wasn't any better. Mutsu had a slow start and when she opened her door, she was immediately intercepted by Nagato who was about to knock on her door.

"Oh, Nagato, what are you doing here?"

"Sorry, I didn't meant to startle you. I just wanted to let you know that I have to go out, the Admiral's orders. And I want you to man HQ while I'm gone. Do you think you can handle that?" For some reason, Mutsu was speechless. "Mutsu, you okay?" Out of nowhere, she placed her hand on her shoulder which quickly snapped her out of her trance.

"Oh yeah, I can do that."

"Alright, thank you. I'll be counting you, we all will." At that moment, she gently placed her hand on her cheek. In response, Mutsu's cheeks turned bright red and got very warm. Unfortunately, Nagato was too ignorant to notice this behavior. They stared at each other for a few more seconds until she left and went out on her mission. Meanwhile, Mutsu made her way to HQ where Ooyodo was waiting for her.

"Orders ma'am." Mutsu was still thinking about what happened between them to realize that she was asked a question. "Mutsu-san?"

"Oh, sorry. No orders for right now. Let's just see how things go. Man the comms and be patient."

"Yes, ma'am." Without Nagato there, that room seemed very boring. Mutsu wasn't too good with giving orders, but she was good at following them. Now, with her taking charge of the fleet, she felt like she had a much bigger responsibility than normal.

As the day started out, things were very quiet. HQ had nothing going on. Mutsu occasionally looked outside and saw that everyone else was having a good time. She didn't mind doing Nagato's job, but seeing everyone with each other made her feel a little sad. She eventually found her way to the seat that overlooked the map of the area. She examined it carefully to try and figure something out, but nothing came to mind. When that got old, she turned her head towards Ooyodo, but nothing came in over the comms. That's when she let out a loud sigh. It seemed as if everything was happening when Nagato was in charge and nothing happened when she took that roll. But suddenly, Ooyodo concentrated her headphones as she was receiving a transmission.

"Uh huh. I see… Keep at it then." Without wasting any time, Mutsu stood behind her desperately waiting for the news.

"What happened?"

"Nothing really. They reported an incursion with a lone carrier, but they were able to finish it off."

"Hm, strange that it would be by itself. The Abyssals usually travel in large squads."

"Yeah, I know. I think that's why they felt the need to contact us."

"So that's it?" Ooyodo gave her a simple head nod and then Mutsu sprang up again out of nowhere. "Who transmitted that message to us? Was it Nagato? Is she alright?" Mutsu was bombarding her with questions, but she was unable to answer all of them. She eventually grabbed Mutsu by the shoulders and shook her around.

"Calm down. It was just a lone carrier. There's no need to worry about them. They had capable fleet girls in that battle so everything's fine." Ooyodo looked her in the eye until she finally settled down a bit.

For the rest of the time, nothing else came up. Mutsu focused her attention on the comms even though it was Ooyodo's job. No orders came in from the Admiral so there was nothing for either of them. Ooyodo wasn't much of a talker so Mutsu couldn't really figure what to talk about with her. The day grew late as the sun started to reach the horizon. After a few more minutes, a beeping came from the radar as Mutsu quickly made her way over to it. It was obvious what it was. She ran out of the room and made her way to the docks and waited. Only a few seconds later, she saw the squad make their way towards the bay and a smile emerged on her face. She saw they everyone was fine, but still looked a little sad. She welcomed back everyone as she patted them on the shoulders.

"It's so nice to see you all back safe and sound."

"Thank you Mutsu-san, wish we had you out there."

"But then who'd watch over the mainland?"

"You don't need to think about that." They both smiled as everyone made their way to the showers. The last one out of the water was Nagato who made her way to Mutsu. She was slightly on edge so she decided to let Nagato say the first word.

"These missions are always unfortunate. I hate seeing those looks on their faces. It's almost like they're useless."

"Don't think like that. They know their doing everything for a purpose… for our oceans to be back in our hands."

"I know. I just wish there was a better way for things to turn out."

"We all do." They looked at each other for a few seconds before Nagato broke their little moment.

"If you don't mind, I'm going to turn in for the night." She walked passed her and made her way towards the bath.

"Of course." Mutsu watched her and wanted to say so much to her, but she looked exhausted. She didn't want to hold her when she's had such a long day of work. She knew that it was best to wait for a better time for it. She sighed once again and headed back to HQ.

The night grew late and Mutsu headed home. On the other hand, Nagato waited until the bath was clear and then headed home to wind down for the day. The perfect heat of the water and the solidarity of the room was what Nagato loved most. It made her feel relaxed and ready to take another new day with her normal strength and stride. However, for some reason, her mind was a little restless as she took a load off. Something was on her mind that was normally a thought all the way in the back of her head.

Mutsu seemed a little different, didn't she? Something was different in her eye. She seemed so much more caring than any other time. Why was she like that? Did she mean to act like that or was it just me? I mean, I didn't really do anything different so it was definitely her. She sunk lower into the bath and tried to calm her mind, but that thought continued to linger making her unable to completely let everything go. She suddenly stood up from the bath and looked straight ahead with determination in her eyes.

Why is this girl stuck in my head?

End of Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

Without You

Chapter 3

What Does That Mean?

 **Note:** Here's a special update for you guys. We finished our tour of the east coast pretty quickly and are about to leave the country. I got to see New York and it was very crowded. It was definitely not my kind of place. The next time you guys hear from me, I'll be in Europe so wish me luck. I hope you all enjoy.

The day started like any other day. Nagato was stuck in Mutsu's mind while war and battle plans were stuck in Nagato's mind. She did manage to get over her little fiasco in the bathroom, but she was still a little confused about that. She wanted to know why those thoughts made it inside of her head. The two of them got ready and headed to HQ where they somehow met up at the exact same time. It was weird because Nagato always got there really early compared to anyone else.

"Good morning Nagato."

"Good morning. Shall we?" She opened the door and allowed Mutsu to walk in first. This was a strange move by Nagato, but Mutsu didn't allow it to show on her face. The two of them walked in and were immediately halted by a special someone.

"A-Admiral?!" They stood up straight and saluted them in the most official way they could. "Excuse me for asking this, but what are you doing here?"

"It's quite strange actually. Ooyodo and I were examining the enemy's movements and we found that nothing was on radar or sonar. It appeared as if the Abyssals suddenly went extinct." Nagato and Mutsu tried to understand what this meant, but it was just too confusing for them. "So I decided to come visit HQ to see if I could get any more accurate readings and everything points to the same thing. The Abyssals are not around."

"What are you saying? We defeated them?"

"Not quite. It's almost as if they're regrouping." Immediately, Nagato conjectured her thoughts.

"Well, if they're regrouping, shouldn't we attack them now, when they're vulnerable?"

"I understand your concern Secretary Ship Nagato, but like I said before, there is nothing on radar or sonar. Even if we wanted to execute and all-out assault on them, we wouldn't even know where to look for them."

"What about their supposed base?"

"I sent a reconnaissance mission out this morning, but they saw that nothing was there. It was bone dry." The conversation between the two of them continued to go on for a long time while Mutsu just stood there and took it all in. She started to gather that the Admiral was going to tell them something a little unusual. She then looked over at Nagato who was completely flustered. It was almost as if she was losing her purpose in life. She constantly did work and without the threat out there, she felt like there had to be something for her to do. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case at all. "I know this may seem weird, but I'm giving you two the day off."

"Ehh?!"

"But Admiral…"

"Nagato, please listen. If the enemy is gathering for some kind of an attack, we'll be ready for them. I just want my two best girls ready no matter what the situation. When was the last time you were actually able to relax." At that moment, the room went silent. They tried to answer his question, but it was impossible. The last time they relaxed was before they were drafted into the fleet.

"So you don't need us today?"

"I know it may sound weird, but I'd like to handle things here. I'll make sure everything resumes smoothly when this little situation blows over." Mutsu was taking this really well, but on the other hand, Nagato was going nuts.

"Admiral, how can you stand for this?! We're your Secretary Ships. We need to be by your side. We have to do everything in order to make your job easier. How can we just not do anything? That's just absurd!"

"Nagato! As your commanding officer and Admiral of this fleet, I order you to leave this room and not come back until 0800 tomorrow." Mutsu's jaw dropped to the floor. She's never seen the Admiral raise his voice, let alone it being directed at Nagato. She looked over at her and saw that she was finally put in her place. "I thank you for showing concern for this war, but you can't keep overworking yourself. When I found you, you were so headstrong and determined. I knew there was something special about you. You're such an incredible person Nagato. I don't want that spark to fade because you worked yourself too hard." Mutsu smiled. The Admiral always had a way with words. "The two of you are dismissed." They saluted and left the room in silence.

Right as they left HQ, the two of them didn't know what to do. Both of them spent most of their days in that room so when they were given that order, it totally caught them off guard. Mutsu looked at Nagato, but it was obvious that she fumbling around in her head. It's been a while since she's seen her relaxed face and that time definitely wasn't it.

"Um, Nagato, what are you going to do?"

"I think I need to head back to my room. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything wrong."

"What are you talking about? This is all of my fault. We wouldn't be forced out of HQ if it wasn't for me." She brought her hands up to her head and closed her eyes. "Ugh, this is ridiculous." Without saying anything more, she stormed off to her room. Mutsu wanted to follow her, but she knew that this wasn't the time to do that. In this situation, Nagato wasn't the kind of person who you should bother. Although it was difficult to admit, Mutsu had to leave her alone.

As Nagato made her way to her room, Mutsu headed to the café. When she got there, everyone welcomed her with smiles. It was strange to see the Secretary Ships out of HQ so they all wanted her to join them. As fun as it was to hang out with her fellow fleet girls, Nagato was still on her mind. She couldn't concentrate on having fun with the other fleet girls so she quickly left the café and headed to her room. However, before she got there, she turned her head and looked to where Nagato's room was. She knew it was wrong to interrupt her, but she simply had to. She walked over to her and room and knocked on her door.

"Hey Nagato, are you there?" There was no response. However, she could hear a lot of rustling from inside the room. She didn't know what it was so she slid the door open a little and saw Nagato running through her house looking for things. "What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to find my map so I can organize so future missions."

"But the Admiral said that we could take a day off."

"He doesn't know what he's talking about. This war has gotten to him. I'm the only one who can truly lead this fleet to victory." Mutsu watched her carefully and could see that her eyes were red and very busy.

"Nagato, please, can't you just take a break?"

"No, there's too much to deal with for me to take a break. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like for you to leave." Nagato headed towards Mutsu and tried to usher her out, but out of nowhere, Mutsu punched her in the gut and Nagato immediately knocked out. Her body fell onto Mutsu's and she caught her before she fell.

"I'm sorry, but I care about you too much to see you like this. I promise that this little break will make all of the difference."

…

A couple of hours later, Nagato slowly opened her eyes. She was a little sore from the punch that Mutsu landed on her. Once she was fully conscious, she tried getting out of her bed, but noticed that an arm was preventing her from leaving. She turned her head and saw that Mutsu was holding her close.

"W-What are you doing?" Mutsu was asleep and couldn't respond. On the other hand, Nagato tried to escape her grasp, but she couldn't. Mutsu's grip around her body was too strong for her to get out. Also, a strange thought came into Nagato's mind.

This girl is so warm.

End of Chapter 3


	4. Chapter 4

Without You

Chapter 4

Back to Work

 **Note:** Hey everyone, my family and I have just finished up our time visiting Spain and France. It was incredible how beautiful Spain. I wasn't expecting things to be that incredible. Unfortunately, in France, they removed the bridge of love and I was a little saddened by that. Now, we're about to travel to Germany and Italy and see what's waiting for us there. Wish us luck and I hope you guys enjoy. Actually, I'd love to hear what you guys are doing to fill your time. I'm sure you're all doing soemthing just as awesome.

Somehow, Nagato was able to fall back asleep after waking up in Mutsu's arm. Her night of sleep was very relaxing, almost as if she was back without a war to worry about. Deep in her head, she wanted this feeling to last a lifetime, but she knew that that just couldn't be possible. She was in the middle of a war and there was no escaping that fact. When morning came around, Nagato and a surprisingly late start. She slowly climbed out of bed and saw Mutsu ready to head to HQ.

"Good morning Nagato. Did you sleep well?" She yawned and stretched out her body. Yeah, she had a good night of sleep. "Well, I'm gonna head on over to HQ."

"Wait!"

"It's okay. You take all the time you need. The day just started. I'm sure I can handle things for now." Without another word, Mutsu left with a smile on her face. Meanwhile, Nagato was in awe. She couldn't believe how fresh she felt. Although she just woke, her energy and everything was rejuvenated as if by some random act of God. She got up from the bed and got ready.

It didn't take her long to finish her morning routine and arrive at HQ. When she did, Mutsu and Ooyodo were already hard at work. There was a note in the middle of the map which caught Nagato's attention.

 _I hope you enjoyed your little day off. I've managed to sort everything out. The Abyssals are back at it and I've already sent a squadron out to observe and report. If any other news comes forth, I'll be sure to let you know._

 _Admiral_

"Hey Mutsu, what did he mean by this?"

"Oh right, you just missed the Admiral. He said that at 0100 this morning, the Abyssals returned on radar and sonar so the operation is back on. As of right now, they're not pushing forward which gives us the upper hand. If we're needed to fight, he'll want everyone ready." Nagato couldn't think straight. She wobbled back on her hind legs and fell on the chair behind her. "Nagato, are you okay?"

"How could I be so stupid?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Having that day was such a waste. There's so much stuff I need to do."

"No, it's all been taken care of. Admiral's done most of the work for us. We're pretty much on-call until news comes in for us." Mutsu walked towards her and tried to calm her down, but it was no use. Nagato stood up straight and with a stern look on her face.

"Ooyodo, contact the squadron and reconnaissance. I want to make sure that there searching every place thoroughly." Ooyodo couldn't help but give Mutsu a second look. She knew that there was nothing that they needed to do, but Nagato was just too much to ignore.

"Aye." She turned around and contacted the squad.

"Nagato, please! You don't need to push yourself like this."

"What are you talking about? I'm not even close to my limit. I have to make sure that we win this war. All of these girls are counting on me to do my job to the best of my ability."

"No, they're not," she whispered to herself.

At that point, Nagato was now in command of HQ. She ran back and forth barking up orders as they came to her. Unfortunately, her orders were a little odd. Mutsu and Ooyodo noticed this and tried to talk some sense in Nagato. On the other hand, she just told them to do as they were told and not argue. She honestly believed that she was doing the right thing regardless of what the other two were thinking. More time went by until they finally received a radio transmission.

"Yes?" Ooyodo was listening in. "Uh huh. Got it." She turned around to face Nagato and Mutsu. "The squadron has made contact with a large platoon of Abyssals. Leader is requesting permission to engage." At that moment, Nagato grabbed the mic and put in her hands.

"Engage at all costs! Reinforcements are on their way."

"Aye!" Ooyodo and Mutsu were in shock. She was calling a very risky play that the Admiral never approved of. Then, she grabbed the base speaker and clicked in.

"Attention, one squadron has intercepted a platoon of Abyssals. I ask that Special Squadron 1 arm up and reinforce the attack group. Everyone else, suit up and defend the bay. We're leaving nothing to chance for this is our opportunity to blast a hole in their defenses. Nagato out." Although they were inside HQ, it was obvious that the whole base was shaking. Everyone was armoring up and heading out to seas. They looked out the window and saw everyone sailing into and out of the bay.

"Nagato, are you sure about this?"

"Of course I'm sure." She picked up the PA system again. "You are fleet girls. Fight for our seas, strengthen your souls; you will not be defeated." Her plan was finally in action. The whole base was in motion as HQ had very mixed ideas about this whole thing.

"Nagato, the Admiral is contacting us." She brought out her hand and grabbed the mic.

"Yes Admiral."

"Nagato, what is going on over there? I'm getting reports that you're mobilizing the fleet."

"Yes sir. Our reconnaissance squad made contact and are now engaging the enemy. Don't worry, I have everything under control."

"Under control? Nagato, I didn't authorize this."

"I know sir, but…"

"No! I don't want to hear it. Call those girls back now."

"But sir, I can handle this."

"Evidently you can't. Didn't you listen to what Mutsu told you?" She looked over at Mutsu who avoided her eye contact. She then looked over at Ooyodo who was doing the same thing.

"Admiral."

"Call those girls back to the base. They have no idea what they're getting themselves into. I'll talk with you later." He hung up rather harshly and Nagato gently handed the radio back to Ooyodo. Without receiving an order, Ooyodo called the fleet to return. There was some trouble calling everyone back, but it eventually worked out in the end. Meanwhile, Nagato was completely silent.

"Nagato?" She remained silent as she walked out onto the balcony of HQ. Mutsu couldn't leave her alone like this. She followed not too far behind her. "Nagato, it's not your fault. It was just a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing." Out of nowhere, Nagato turned her head to face Mutsu, her eyes were unusually red.

"Am I a bad person?"

"Huh?"

"Am I… a bad person?" Mutsu couldn't believe the words that were coming out this girl's mouth. Where was this coming from?

End of Chapter 4


	5. Chapter 5

Without You

Chapter 5

Sudden Events

Nagato was quiet. There was no look on her face and her breath was short and timid. Mutsu couldn't believe what she was seeing. Nagato, for the first time in her life, was put to shame. It probably wasn't meant that way, but she felt that way. The Admiral never talked to her like that and hearing that for the first time was a complete shock. Now, all she could do was wait until he showed once again. Already, this broke the record for how many times the Admiral visited the base. As they stood there in silence, Mutsu noticed the bay fill up with fleet girls.

"Nagato, they're back." She didn't respond in any way. She just closed her eyes and sighed. At that moment, Mutsu stepped outside and made her way to the docks where everyone was completely confused.

"Mutsu-san, what's going on?"

"I'm not quite sure myself." Eventually everyone started to crowd around Mutsu asking her the same thing. She wasn't able to answer any of their questions, but there was something that caught everyone's attention. They managed to spot the Admiral heading up to HQ. He had a dark look on his face as she barged through the door and slammed it behind him.

"Mutsu-san, shouldn't you be there too?"

"I doubt that."

"Why? Does it have something to do with Nagato's order?" She was afraid to answer that question so she silently nodded her head. Everyone then turned their heads and took a big gulp for they knew what was happening in that room.

… At HQ…

"Nagato, what the hell were you doing?"

"Admiral, I can explain."

"Oh can you? Well, I'd love to hear what you got because that stunt you pulled nearly cost me this entire fleet." Nagato's eyes widened. The Admiral rarely talked like that. His voice was raised even more making him seem even more threatening than normal. "Don't you understand what you almost did?" Nagato's head dropped.

"I thought I was doing the right thing." She paused, but there was no other voice to interrupt her. "I want this war to be over as quickly as possible. I don't want these girls to suffer any more than they already have to. That's why I made that call." He sighed.

"You just don't understand Nagato. Ever since I recruited you, you've always been head-first. I really liked that about you, but sometimes, you can't do that. What you were unaware of was that the enemy was amassing at that location. There was no way we could have made a stand against them. It's just that our enemy sometimes doesn't show up on radar or sonar."

"I'm sorry." He sighed again, only this time, it felt harsher and more condescending.

"Nagato, I made you the Secretary Ship for a reason. You had a knack for battle strategies, but this is just simply unacceptable." Her eyes suddenly opened wide. "I'm relieving you of your post until I can figure out what to do with you. Maybe you'll be able to understand why I'm doing this while you're not an officer."

"Admiral," she said softly.

"You are dismissed." Ignoring his own command, he took his leave, leaving Nagato alone in the room.

… Back outside…

Everyone turned their heads at the sound of the HQ door swinging open. The Admiral walked out on his own with a much different look on his face then when he went inside. It was a look of disappointment and heartbreak. Mutsu couldn't let this go. She quickly ran over to him and stopped him before he escaped from sight.

"Admiral, what happened?" He remained silent. He closed his eyes and put his hand on her shoulder.

"Nothing, lead this fleet well Mutsu." He dropped his hand off her shoulder and walked off in silence. She was confused. What did he mean by that? What happened to Nagato? She couldn't spend too much time thinking about. She ran back to HQ where she saw Nagato walking down the steps. She had the same look as the Admiral, but with only more feeling.

"Nagato, are you…" She walked right by her without saying a single word. She watched her pass her in silence and saw that everyone was watching as well. "Um, you guys return to your posts and stay on standby." Everyone stood up straight and saluted her. Once that was over, she caught up with Nagato and walked by her side. "Are you okay?"

"I am a bad person." Her voice was weak and very quiet.

"No you're not. We all mistakes. You just gotta shake this off and try again next time. Nothing's ever over until we succeed."

"But it's over for me." Mutsu started to panic. She ran in front of Nagato and halted her before she could take another step.

"What are you talking about? You can't talk like that. We need you, the normal you." Her head dropped.

"The normal me isn't good enough anymore." Mutsu gasped. "I'm relieved of my duties until further notice."

"No way, that can't be. Are you sure?" It was difficult, but Nagato managed to nod her head in agreement. "No, that can't be right. I'll go talk with the Admiral right now. I'm sure he didn't actually meant. It was probably just because he was angry. I'll be right back." Mutsu attempted to run off to find the Admiral again, but she was stopped before she could. Her wrist was grabbed and she was pulled into Nagato's body. She was completely caught off guard. When was the last time Nagato actually gave her a hug that meant something? It was definitely a long time ago.

"Can we just stay like this for a bit?" She was all choked up. It was obvious that she was trying to hold back the tears. She was doing her best, but a couple of them managed to escape her eyes. Seeing Nagato vulnerable like this was almost tragic for Mutsu. Nagato was strong, faithful, and above all else, beautiful. This wasn't the Nagato she knew.

"Nagato?" She squeezed even tighter as Mutsu started to feel her body heat. It was surprisingly warm and very soothing. Once it was confirmed how this girl was feeling, Mutsu no longer wanted to talk. She wanted things to stay like this forever. Unfortunately, it didn't last long. After a few minutes, Nagato broke away from the hug with a puffy face.

"Could you escort me to my room?" Mutsu looked in her eyes and saw that she was still hurting.

"Of course."

The two of them started out, but Mutsu kept her pace a little slower than Nagato. She wanted to make sure that she was alright, and she knew that this was the best way to do it. Constantly watching her was a good way to comfort her. However, Mutsu just couldn't get over how random this moment of weakness was for Nagato. It almost seemed like a dream. Mutsu always dreamed of having Nagato need her like that, but it just felt too good to be true. Her hug was so wonderful and her face nearly caused her to melt. It may sound bad, but Mutsu really enjoyed Nagato's moment of weakness. After a few minutes, they started to near Nagato's room when she suddenly stopped. Mutsu stopped a few feet behind her and kept her eyes on her.

"Hey Mutsu?"

"Yeah?"

"Would you…" Mutsu's eyes widened as she saw a missile shell came flying at Nagato.

"Nagato, watch out!" She grabbed her in her arms and spun her around, putting her back towards the missile. When they turned around, Nagato saw the missile flying right for them. It was already too late to do anything else though. Mutsu closed her eyes and clenched her teeth.

Boom! The whole base shook at the explosion of the missile hit. It took a few minutes for the smoke to subside, but when it did, the only one intact was Nagato. Mutsu was on top of Nagato as limp as a fish. At that moment, Nagato's breathing starting to increase with panic. She turned her over and tried shaking her to get her to come to, but it wouldn't work. She pressed her ears against her chest and felt a faint heartbeat. That's when her eyes shot wide open.

"Mutsu, no! You can't do this to me! Wake up!" She tried shaking her a little harder, but it didn't work. Then, some of the girls found the two of them on the ground and were in complete shock.

"Mutsu-san? No." she looked at everyone and saw that tears were starting to form in their eyes.

"Everyone man your battle stations, now!" They looked at each other in confusion. "This is a battle zone. Arm up and defend the base!"

"Aye!" The saluted her and went to their stations. Nagato then looked down at Mutsu's blank face.

"Please wake up." A tear fell on Mutsu's face. "You can't leave me like this. I…"

End of Chapter 5


	6. Chapter 6

Without You

Chapter 6

A Returning Past

 **Note:** Sorry for the late update. I was kind of busy today and couldn't sit down at my computer and write. Anyway, enough about my complaints. I hope you guys enjoy more of this story.

The days of training were tough. Starting out so young with such high expectations was extremely difficult. Those girls who were gifted with the souls of the ancient battle ships were treasured by the Grand Fleet. However, there are even a fewer number of girls who are forced down an even harder path. Nagato and I were forced down that road of hardship. Nagato was always strong and able in battle. I was more on the compassionate side of things. I found it difficult to get things right according to the standards of the Grand Fleet.

"Mutsu, what's your problem? Why can't you get it right? It's not that hard."

"I know. You're slowing everyone down."

"Come on, let's get out of here." I watched them sail away with ridicule in their eyes and body. It felt so wrong, but they were right. I was slowing everyone down. My training on the battlefield was nowhere near the level of the other girls. And yet, I received some help along the way. Every time I experienced a bump in the road, that one girl was always there to pick me up off the ground: Nagato.

"If you ever fail, just remember that I'll always be there for you. I'll bring you back on your feet."

I could never forget those words. They've managed to hold a special place in my heart.

As training went on, I slowly started to gain some ground, but it wasn't without the help of Nagato. She was always there for me, despite how the other girls talked about me. She stood up for me and said that I had the potential to win this war. Of course, that was a ridiculous thing to say, but she said it without any hesitation in her voice. That gave me the strength to move forward and not look back.

However, now that I'm thinking about everything that I've went through, things were starting to seem kind of hazy. My memories were starting to fade. I didn't know why. Even some of the biggest moments of my life were starting to fade. Why was this happening? I stuck out my hand to try and reach out for them, but they just kept on getting further. I tears fell from my eye.

"Don't go." At that moment, I felt a warmth touch the back of my body. I turned around and saw a small light at the other end of this so-called tunnel I was in. However, I didn't really know what to do. I didn't know what this light was and I didn't want to say goodbye to all of these things I remembered. I didn't know why I was so troubled. I turned around and saw that all of those memories were quickly making their way towards that small light. That's when I knew I had to follow where my memories went. I ran as fast as I could until I arrived at the small light. I poked out my finger and gently touched it as the dark tunnel filled with light. What was going on?

…

Mutsu's eyes slowly cracked open. The world around her appeared in a blurry white glow. However, her right hand was feeling that same warmth from her out-of-body trance just a few seconds ago. It took her a few seconds to regain her vision, but when she did, she saw someone sitting down next to her with their head resting on her bed. It was Nagato. She slowly lifted her head to avoid waking her up. At that moment, the only question she had was how long this girl was by her side. That's when she realized what was going on. She took the hit for her and she was now awake in the infirmary. She tried sitting up, but she couldn't. Her whole back and parts of her right arm were taped up.

"What the heck?" Suddenly, a soft moan came from Nagato as she lifted her head. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." She scratched her eyes and looked at Mutsu.

"Mutsu?"

"Hi," she said with a smile.

"Mutsu, oh my gosh, are you okay?!" She sat up and immediately had a stern look on her face.

"I'm fine. A little sore, but…" Out of nowhere, Nagato threw her arms around Mutsu and squeezed her tight. "Nagato?"

"Don't you ever do that to me again." It wasn't very noticeable, but Mutsu managed to hear soft whimpering coming from Nagato's body. She was a little shaky and almost like she was a different person. The Nagato she knew was extremely strong and seeing her like this was something out of a fairy tale. As she was thinking about what was happening, Nagato dropped her head on Mutsu's leap.

"I'm sorry I worried you." Mutsu put her hand on Nagato's head which made her look up once more.

"Mutsu." At that moment, Nagato gently caressed Mutsu's cheek as the two of them looked into each other's eyes. For just a second, the room was completely quiet. All that could be heard was the soft breathing of the two girls. "I… I really wanna…" The Admiral suddenly burst through the door in anger.

"What the hell is going on?!" The moment was broken and Nagato turned her head towards him. "Is this your doing?"

"Of course it is."

"I thought I told you that you were suspended from duty."

"That doesn't matter when the Abyssals were attacking our base."

"That may be true, but you cased the entire fleet pandemonium. The enemy force wasn't even that great. We nearly lost some lives because of your rash decision to send everyone out to seas." At that moment, Nagato retreated a few inches. "I guess a simple suspension won't be enough to keep you in check. You are now suspended from this base until otherwise notified." The Admiral turned and stormed out of the infirmary.

After his departure, the room went silent again. Only this time, there was an atmosphere of fear and nervousness. Something that made it even worse was that Mutsu was there the entire time to hear the argument. She's never seen the Admiral blow up like that and to see it shown against Nagato was something surreal. When she looked at Nagato, her head was down while she stepped a few feet away from her bed.

"Nagato," she said quietly as she tried reaching for her, but Nagato ran out of the room as fast as she could.

…

Nagato ran as fast as she could through the base. She passed by multiple girls who were returning from the docks. They all had weird looks on their faces since it was a strange sight to see Nagato doing what she was doing. She kept her head down the entire time until she arrived at her room. She burst through the door and looked around frantically. The first thing she grabbed was a picture of her and the Admiral after her graduation into the fleet. She gripped it hard and tossed it at the wall. After that, she grabbed the other things from her training squad and started to rip them up. All of those were reminders of what used to be. She was the best at what she did, but apparently that wasn't true anymore. The Admiral didn't trust her and she was no longer worthy of these things.

More time went by and she still didn't calm down. She eventually chucked her bed across the room and tore up everything else that was hanging on the wall. Once everything was on the ground and ripped to shreds, she packed up her things and headed out the door. However, right as she did, she nearly ran into someone who was about to enter her room.

"Sorry, I need to…" That person suddenly wrapped her arms around Nagato's body and held her close.

"You can stay with me." At that moment, Nagato widened her eyes and looked down.

End of Chapter 6


	7. Chapter 7

Without You

Chapter 7

A Little Secret

"No, I want you to stay with me."

"Mutsu, what are you talking about? The Admiral is banning me from the Naval District."

"It's fine. He won't find out. He never comes into the living quarters anyway." They pulled away from the hug, but Nagato was continuing to evade her eye contact. "Please, I want to be with you." At that moment, Nagato's eyes widened as she finally looked up at Mutsu. "If you're leaving, I'm leaving too." This was hard for her. She's already let down the Admiral and to disobey him like this was definitely pushing things to their limit.

"Okay, I'll stay with you." Mutsu let out a sigh of relief. She didn't really want to leave, but if it came down to it, she was ready to do so. With what ability she had, she helped Nagato haul her things back to Nagato's room. When they arrived, Nagato let out a comment that made Mutsu feel bad. "I remember this place. It's been so long." Mutsu dropped her things next to the bed.

"I'm gonna take a bath." She wanted to incite Nagato in with her, but this time, she wanted to think to herself.

Right at the start of her bath, she asked herself why she was doing this. Nagato was incredibly vulnerable just now and she completely took advantage of that moment to be with her again. These moments happen very rarely so she couldn't miss… And yet, she felt awful about it. There was a reason why Nagato left this room and Mutsu was starting to feel that this wasn't a good idea.

After a few minutes of sitting in the hot water, she stepped out and tried to wash her body. For the most part, she was able to do it, but when it came to her back, it was impossible. Her right arm was still a little injured and her left arm was very capable at doing something as washing her back. She tried in numerous ways, but nothing worked. Once she figured that that was going to work, she dropped her luffa and sighed incredibly loud.

Out of nowhere, the bathroom door slid open which caused Mutsu to turn her head. Nagato had her towel covering her body as she walked in and stepped inside the tub. Now things were awkward. She didn't invite her to join her and now that she was there as Mutsu was trying to wash her back, she didn't really know how to handle it. As subtly as she could, she tried a few more times to wash her back, but it still ended in failure. That's when she bowed her head and headed towards the exit.

"You want me to help you?" Mutsu stopped dead in her tracks.

"Huh?"

"Your back. You want me to wash it for you."

"Uh… sure," she said hesitantly. Nagato got out of the tub and walked over to the washing area. Meanwhile, Mutsu sat back down on the stool and tried to stay as calm as possible.

"Why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"You try to do everything yourself when there are people around you that can help." At that moment, Mutsu bowed her head in silence.

"You really think that's me?"

"Of course, I see it all of the time when we're at HQ. Once you're given your orders, you don't back down no matter how much or difficult it is. Asking for help is always a bad thing," she said as she washed the soap off of her back.

"Asking for help?"

"Yeah, I'm always there if you…" Out of nowhere, Mutsu leapt up onto her feet and stared Nagato in the eyes.

"You don't understand at all. You're talking about yourself. You choose to do everything yourself. You want to everything else. You have this sense of responsibility that you and only you can do this. Well, there's a lot of other girls in this fleet that want that feeling of responsibility. We all want to win this war and yet, you constantly believe that you can win this singlehandedly." Once her words settled in, she immediately regretted everything she said. "I'm sorry." She stormed out of the bathroom, leaving Nagato to watch her in confusion.

Was that true? Do I really act like that? Nagato was dumbfounded by what she just heard and yet, it caused her to think long and hard about it.

Meanwhile, Mutsu ran back into her room and dove onto her bed without getting dressed or drying off her body. Tears immediately started to roll down her face as she laid there alone and hurt. However, the pain she felt was for Nagato. All of her pent-up emotion just spilled out onto her. It's like Nagato deserved it. It was just that Nagato's such a hardheaded person that she wouldn't be able to see the reality of the situation. All of this thinking about Nagato caused her to grow tired and eventually fall asleep with barely energy left.

…

About an hour went by and Nagato finally exited the bathroom. She was still thinking about what Mutsu said to her, but she knew that she had to face her eventually and she thought the earlier, the better. She poked her head into the main room and looked around the room.

"Hey Mutsu, are you here?" As she looked, she heard soft breathing coming from the bed and knew that she was there already sleeping. She quietly walked over to her and saw that her side of the bed from before was open. She walked over to it and sat down. Immediately, it felt perfect. It was the perfect blend of soft and hard. There was no way she kept this spot like this on purpose, right? After she got over that little thing, she turned her head and crawled onto the bed, peering over Mutsu's body. "Mutsu, are you awake?"

There was no response. All she heard was the soft breathing of her sleep.

"Mutsu. You said that I'm the one who thinks this war can only be won by my hands. It's not like that. I just… I don't want anyone else to feel the burden of failure when it happens. I keep this as my burden because I want everyone else to be happy. Being in this war is already punishment enough. I can't ask anymore from these girls. That's why I do it. I guess you can call it me being selfish, but… I do it for everyone." She leaned back onto her side of the bed and looked down. Meanwhile, a tear fell from Mutsu's eye. "In the end, I want these girls to remain who they are now. If things change too much for them, I don't know what I'd do with myself. I hope you can understand." She turned off the lights and turned over onto her side. "Good night Mutsu."

…

When morning came around, Mutsu and Nagato were immediately woken up by a loud knocking at her door. She forgot to lock the door the night before so once the visitors realized it was unlocked, they barged through the door and surrounded her bed.

"Hi Mutsu-san!"

"Hi, what are you guys doing here?"

"We heard that you got injured when the Abyssals initiated their surprise attack on the base. We came to see how you were doing."

"Aw, thank you. You guys are so sweet." Meanwhile, Nagato sat up on her side of the bed and couldn't help but feel bad about everything.

End of Chapter 7


	8. Chapter 8

Without You

Chapter 8

Time Off

That day was quite the exciting one for Mutsu. Nearly all of the fleet girls visited Mutsu's room and they all brought some kind of present for her. This put a smile on her face, knowing that everyone cared about her enough to spend some time with her. On the other hand, Nagato spent her time on the other side of the room, dwelling on the events that led up to this point. She couldn't help but feel guilty for putting Mutsu in this position. If she was paying attention, she would have been the one to take the hit. She would have been the one to suffer, not Mutsu. That's when Nagato lost it. Tears fell from her face as she ran out of the room. Unfortunately, no one took notice of this… No one, except Mutsu. Back inside the room, the girls from the 6th Destroyer Division were spending time with Mutsu.

"Mutsu-san, I've been doing my best to be a true lady." Mutsu smiled. "Do you think you could give me any advice though? I'm pretty sure that I'm missing a few things."

"Wait, why are you asking me?"

"Because you're a lady. You're the best lady on the entire base."

"Aw, thank you. That's so sweet."

"So what could you tell me?" Mutsu was immediately put in a corner.

"Um, I'm not really sure."

"Well, it's actually kind of unfair because ladies are always supposed to be pretty and Mutsu is incredible pretty. Also, ladies also have a partner. Mutsu, how are you and Nagato?" At that moment, Mutsu's eyes widened as everyone else leaned to hear the scoop on this topic.

"Yeah, how are you two? Whenever you guys are together, it's always the best thing. It always brightens up my day." Mutsu had such a hard time answering their question since she didn't really know how they were as people.

"Um, we're alright."

"How often do you guys cuddle?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. These girls were so interested in something that was officially a thing.

"Cuddle? Why do you need to know that?"

"Because ladies always have to be cared for. When you cuddle, you feel safe and secure. That's the ladiest thing you could do."

"Well, we don't cuddle a lot."

"Aawww! Why not?" Mutsu immediately felt bad. These girls didn't know that she and Nagato weren't actually a thing and yet, things were things she wanted to do with her. Way back when, the most that the two of them would do was share a bed and a bath. They didn't do anything too lovey-dovey.

"I don't know. I don't want to do anything Nagato isn't comfortable with. A lady also has to be considerate of her partner. That's something you can work on." Their faces suddenly lit up.

"Okay! Thank you Mutsu-san." They all crowded her bed and hugged her, nearly causing her to die of suffocation. After that, they left her alone and her room was finally empty. She looked around and noticed that Nagato was still out. She attempted to get out of bed, but for some reason, she developed a pain in her back that prevented her from leaving. She gritted her teeth as she turned over on her stomach to relieve the pain. After a few minutes, Nagato finally came back in her room.

"Everyone's gone, huh?" Mutsu looked up and saw Nagato with a sad look on her face.

"Yeah," she said with a loud sigh.

"Hey, how come you don't just go to the docks to repair?"

"The docks are under maintenance right now so that's why I'm here. Trust me, I would love to be there, but I can't."

"Are you hurting right now?"

"Eh, sort of."

"What do you mean? Do you need anything?"

"No, I'm fine." Nagato suddenly climbed onto her bed and straddled her body.

"Are you sure you're okay? You don't normally lie on your back like this."

"Nagato, what are you… ah." At that moment, Nagato pressed her hands against Mutsu's back and started to massage her. She gently rubbed her hands across her back while Mutsu was trying her best to relax. "Nagato, you don't need to."

"No, I do. You're like this because of me. The least I could do is take care of you while you're decommissioned."

"That's kind of a mean way to say it."

"Sorry." Nagato continued to massage her and with each rub of her hand, Mutsu quietly moaned to herself. For her, it's been so long since Nagato has ever done something like this. The most she ever did was hold her shoulders when they were training. So her doing this was actually pretty special for her.

"Nagato, why are you doing this?"

"I thought I just told you. I want to be useful to you."

"You don't have to." Mutsu suddenly turned over and looked up at Nagato. "I hope you don't feel responsible for this. Nothing about this was your fault. I did it to protect you."

"And that's why I do feel responsible. If I was paying attention, that wouldn't have happened. You and I would be at HQ moving along with our normal lives." Mutsu suddenly grew sad.

"Is that what you want?"

"Huh?" Mustu turned her head in sadness.

"It's nothing." At that moment, Nagato climbed off of her body, but continued to look at her. "Could you go to Mamiya's café?"

"Sure, what do you want me to pick up?"

"Can you just go?" Nagato finally realized what was going on. She climbed off the bed and headed towards the door.

"I'll be back soon, I guess." Without saying another word, Nagato left her room and headed to the café.

Meanwhile, Mutsu remained lying on her bed. She was still thinking about what Nagato said. She wanted things to be back to the way they were. And then, she thought about what those girls talked about. They said lovers cuddle and do other lovey-dovey stuff. She wanted to do that with Nagato, but she was just not interested in those kind of things. The way things were was when Mutsu and Nagato lived in separate rooms and only ever talked when they were in HQ. Why would she want that? Does she truly not care about me anymore?

…

Nagato finally made it to Mamiya's café. Unfortunately, she didn't have any cravings for anything she was selling so she just took a seat near the back of the restaurant and tried to think.

"Nagato-san, what are you doing here? It's kind of rare to see you here." She looked up to see the girls from the 6th Destroyer Division.

"Oh, hi girls."

"Nagato-san, I actually something I wanted to ask you." Nagato turned her head, indicating that she was interested in the conversation. "How are you and Mutsu-san?" Nagato widened her eyes.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we saw her earlier today and she said that you two were alright. I just wanted to hear from you."

"Oh well, we're alright." The girls looked at Nagato as if she was hiding something from them.

"You know, Mutsu's the lady in this relationship, right?" Nagato nodded her head in confusion. "So I wanted to know how you made her yours." That was the golden question. Unfortunately, Nagato didn't have an answer for them. Just now was she starting to realize what all of this meant. She stood up and looked at the door. "Nagato-san?"

"Sorry, but I need to go somewhere."

End of Chapter 8


	9. Chapter 9

Without You

Chapter 9

The True Confession

 **Note:** Sorry for the short chapter this week. The past couple of days have been weird for me so I haven't been able to truly dedicate myself to these stories. This won't happen again so I hope you enjoy and I hope to see you guys back next week.

Mutsu laid on her bed in sadness. She was thinking about the situation around her and how things could be better. Unfortunately, nothing was turning out in her favor. Nagato was now living with her again, but Nagato could care less about how she felt or what she wanted. That was just the kind of person Nagato was. She was strong, Mutsu wasn't. She turned over onto her side and sighed out loud.

"Maybe things weren't just meant to be."

Snap! Her door slid open which caused her to turn around as fast as she could. When she did, she Nagato standing in the doorway, completely out of breath. Her head was down as she was blowing out a gut.

"Nagato, what are you doing here?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

"What? That I wanted to be alone. Well, you finally realized. Now, if you could just leave, that would be great." She suddenly closed the door behind her and walked slowly towards Mutsu's bed.

"I can't."

"What are you talking about? The door's the other way. Please…" She turned her head and tried to hold back the tears. "Just…" Out of nowhere, Nagato stole a kiss from Mutsu's lips which threw her by surprise. She tried pushing Nagato off, but that only made her way to kiss her more. After a few seconds, Nagato released and Mutsu started to cower away from her. "W-Why are you doing this?"

"I'm sorry. I've spent all of my time thinking about everyone else and I haven't even been thinking about the one person I'm closest to." Mutsu suddenly widened her eyes. "I've been such a horrible person to you and I wanted to make it up to you." She leaned in closer, but Mutsu suddenly slapped her in the face.

"Do you think that'll change anything?!" Nagato was in shock. She felt the place where Mutsu slapped her and could feel all of her feelings in that slap.

"Huh?"

"I've been waiting so long for you and you've just brushed me to the side like I'm just some bystander. Do you know how much that hurt? I did everything for you. I supported you no matter what. Even when the Admiral thought one way, I always stood by your side. How could you have not seen that after all of this time?!"

"I…"

"It's because you truly don't care about me! All you care about is this stupid war! There are other things out there to worry about. These girls, yourself… Me," she said softly. "This war affects everyone. Love is the strongest weapon and you refuse to use it."

"Love? How?" Tears started to fall from Mutsu's eyes like a waterfall.

"Putting your faith in their bonds. These girls all love each other and that's what keeps them going. You tear that down and they have nothing to stand for."

"Mutsu, I…"

"Just get out of here. I don't want to see you for the rest of the night." She turned over and gave Nagato the cold shoulder. However, Nagato wasn't going silently into the night. She had to tell Mutsu the truth. She had to convey her feelings to this girl.

"Mutsu, please. Just hear me out." Mutsu then stuck out her arm as if to push her off the bed, but Nagato grabbed it out of the air and placed it on her chest.

"Let me go."

"This belongs to you, and only you." Mutsu tried to hide it, but this girl was already ensnaring her in her trap. "I've been cold to you because I wasn't ready to share how I really felt. Yes, sometimes, it seemed like I didn't want anything to do with you, but it wasn't like I completely forgot about you. You were always in my mind, driving me crazy. Thoughts would come up in my head saying that you would leave, but in the end, you never could. You were always right next to me." Mutsu finally turned around and looked at Nagato. "You deserve me, but I know I don't deserve someone like you. I've been such a horrible person to you and I guess what I'm trying to get at here is… Will you forgive me?"

There was a few seconds of silence. Mutsu stared at Nagato and Nagato was looking down at Mutsu. No words were spoken, but they felt as if they knew what the answer to her question was. Mutsu turned back over, still holding Nagato's hand. This caused Nagato to fall flat onto the bed with her arm over Mutsu's body.

"Mutsu?"

"Can we just stay like this for a while?"

"S-Sure?" Time seemed to stop as the two of them were holding each other as close as they could. Nagato was a little unsure if Mutsu completely forgave her, but Mutsu was just so happy to hear those words come out of Nagato's mouth.

If Nagato didn't deserve a girl like her, she work herself to make sure that that happened.

End of Chapter 9


	10. Chapter 10

Without You

Chapter 10

Dishonest Feelings

When morning came around, Nagato was the first to wake up. She had a slow start since there was something stopping her progress. She looked down to see Mutsu embracing her entire body. Her arms were wrapped around her chest and her legs were intertwined with hers. She was immediately caught off guard by this random turn of events. This had to have meant that she had forgiven her, right? Nagato just couldn't figure it out. This girl was such a tease and Nagato wasn't one to get stuff like this.

She tried squirming out of her clutches, but with every move, Mutsu tightened her grip around her. It was almost as if she knew she was trying to escape and she tried to keep Nagato in her possession. However, Nagato couldn't back down. Once she was up, she was up so staying in bed would have been a waste. She carefully tried to unlatch Mutsu's arms from around her body, but when she did, Mutsu continued to get closer and closer to her. Nagato was running out of ideas. The only thing she could was snap out of bed, breaking her grip on her. That was the only way.

Nagato executed her plan perfectly, but the other things that should have happened did not. Mutsu, somehow, managed to keep a hold on Nagato's body. This caused her to fall off the bed, taking Mutsu with her. When this happened, Mutsu woke up and could barely realize what was happening. Once they made it to the ground, their lips met each other's as Mutsu's body fell on top of Nagato.

Mutsu's eyes shot wide open as they met Nagato's in this extremely awkward situation. They held for just a few seconds before Nagato pushed her off.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do that."

"It's fine. I just…"

"Mutsu-san?" There was a voice from outside her door. It was Ooyodo. "I have a message from the Admiral. He wishes for you to report to HQ as soon as possible. Are you able?"

"Y-Yeah, I'll be over soon," she said with a flustered voice. She climbed off of Nagato's body and immediately got ready. Since Nagato couldn't go to HQ, she just sat on the ground and watched as Mutsu made her way out of her room. It was a simple kiss, and yet, the both of them felt so weird about it.

Unfortunately, Mutsu didn't say goodbye to Nagato so the two of them were left on some awkward terms. It wasn't anything to be worried about. It's just that the last they kissed was when Nagato promised to always be by her side. That was when they were admitted into the Grand Fleet, but now, that promise didn't really seem to fit that kiss.

Back at HQ, Mutsu arrived and immediately received the directions that the Admiral had left her. Thankfully, there was never any taxing work at HQ so her body wouldn't have to work so hard coming out of recovery. There were a couple of squadrons out on patrol and Mutsu made sure their communications maintained constant and available. Other than that, there wasn't much that she had to do. However, there was still a lot she had to think about and the only thing that was occupying her mind was Nagato.

She didn't know what happened, but the two of them ended up on the ground as they were sharing a kiss. According to Nagato's face, there was absolutely no intention of her doing that and yet, it happened anyway. She felt her lips with her fingers and could still remember the touch of Nagato's lips against hers. She couldn't forget it. She didn't want to forget it. Although it didn't seem like it, Nagato was a very comforting person to be around, but that only applied to Mutsu. Nagato was never this nice around other girls of the fleet. That's when Mutsu finally realized it. Even though she never showed any love towards her, Nagato treated her as if she was different; the good kind of different.

"Excuse me, Ooyodo. Do you mind if I take my leave? I'm still kind of feeling a little shaken up."

"Okay. Should I call you if something comes up?"

"Yes please. I'll be in my room."

"Alright, take it easy." The two of them exchanged smiles as Mutsu headed back to her room.

Meanwhile, Nagato killed some time by roaming about her room. When she did, she immediately took notice of some interesting things. On her dresser and walls were pictures of her and Mutsu. She didn't even know that she took this many pictures with her and yet, Mutsu was cherishing all of them. All of them had just the two of them. Nagato had on her normal serious face while Mutsu was smiling as if Nagato asked her to marry her. Of course, that wasn't the case. It just looked like that. That's when Nagato realized the truth of all of this. Mutsu has always been by her side no matter what.

Boom! Out of nowhere, the door cracked open which caused Nagato to turn to find out what it was. It was Mutsu. She had her head down and she was nearly blowing out a gut.

"Mutsu, what are you doing here? I thought…" She couldn't finish her sentence. Mutsu started to collapse onto the ground, but Nagato was there before she could. She cradled her in her arms and walked back to her bed. She set her down gently, but noticed that there wasn't anything particularly wrong with her. "Why do you push yourself? You still need your rest." Mutsu reached up behind Nagato's head and pulled her down for another kiss. When they broke away, Mutsu quietly whispered to her.

"Let's make love." Nagato immediately fell backwards in shock from those words.

"What are you talking about?"

"Didn't you say you'd always be with me?" Nagato realized that her past words were coming back to her. Her face turned bright red.

"Yes, but…" When she looked up, she saw Mutsu crawling towards her. "Mutsu, why are you doing this?"

"What's the problem? We're finally together. They're shouldn't be anything stopping us now." Mutsu tried leaning in for another kiss, but Nagato stuck her hand out into Mutsu's face to stop her progress.

"I don't know what is going on with you, but I can't do that." She stood up and walked out of the room.

"W-Where are you going?" She didn't answer, but her destination was the beach. It was so strange to see Mutsu behaving like his. Yes, she was affectionate to her all of the time, but this was just over the top. When she arrived at the beach, she saw the sun hitting the horizon. She stared out and tried to examine the whole situation.

End of Chapter 10


	11. Chapter 11

Without You

Chapter 11

Marriage

 **Note:** I know this is going to sound really sudden, but I'm going to have to cut this story short. I've been working really hard on trying to shape this into a good story, but I've just been having too much difficulty. Nothing seems to be working for me so this will be the last chapter. I'm sorry if this is depressing to hear, but I promise it won't be a bad ending. Thank you for reading and supporting this story.

Nagato stared out to the horizon and saw the sky turn from orange to red as the sun was saying goodbye to another day. The heat of the day quickly escaped from sight. She took a seat on the sand and tried to relax. In the past few days, so many things have happened that she just couldn't understand. She was kicked out of her military position, Mutsu started to act strange, and her mind was racing at 100 miles an hour.

Although it seemed like just her head, her entire body was in conflict. In her head, she knew she couldn't take advantage of Mutsu because of what's happened to her. However, her heart is saying that she's the one. She didn't really know what that meant though. Love is a strange thing that no one truly understands and yet, here she is having the feeling that Mutsu was destined to be with her for the rest of her days.

When the sun finally escaped from her line of sight, she sighed as the dark, night sky covered her. The cold chill of night rolled in and sent a chill down her spine.

"Ugh, what is going on?" At that moment, she heard a couple of footsteps make contact with the sand behind her. She turned her head to see Mutsu standing as she normally would. She was calm and beautiful as could be. She rose to her feet and faced her. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you."

"I wasn't asking that. I'm asking why you came here."

"Why else would I be here? You're here and that's reason enough." Nagato suddenly turned her around.

"Don't give me that!" There was a sudden pause in their conversation. The beach went silent as the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the waves crashing into the shore.

"Nagato, what's wrong?" She continued to look out towards the horizon when she suddenly collapsed onto her knees.

"Everything's wrong. I'm the problem here."

"No you're not."

"Yes I am! Don't put words in my mouth! Ever since becoming secretary ship, I've caused this war to drag on far longer than it needs to be. Because of me, these girls have gone through things that they'll never be able to get over. They've seen things that they'll never be able to forget it. All of this pain and suffering is because of me. Things are like this because of me… Because I'm… a failure." She bowed her head as tears started to form in her eyes. Meanwhile, Mutsu slowly walked around in front of her. She fell onto her knees and slapped her across the face. The slap echoed across the shore.

"You are a failure. You fail to see the things that have actually transpired around you. Because of you, the amount of lives that have been same could not be counted on just two hands. That was you."

"You're being ridiculous."

"I'm not. You've lead us down a path to where hope is an attainable thing. These girls look up to you. You give them hope. You give me hope. Without you, I wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be the person I am today."

"Without you…"

"You would have been a happier person. You wouldn't have to go through all of this." A tear dropped onto the sand as she finally closed her eyes.

"Without you, I wouldn't have found the person I love." Nagato's eyes shot back open as she slowly rose her head back up to look at Mutsu.

"You don't love me."

"Then you've been blind this entire time."

"Don't talk to me like you actually know me."

"But I do."

"No you don't!"

"Yes I do!" Mutsu grabbed her by the shoulders and tackled her to the ground. "You think you know what's going on around you, but you don't. All you know is the war and what's going on with that. There are more important things in this world aside from this stupid war. The girls around you, your own health… Why don't you realize that?"

"I don't need to realize it. None of those things will matter if we don't get out of this war on top. If we lose to the Abyssals, there will be nothing left to come back to."

"Who cares?! Who cares if we win this war when these girls' humanity is destroyed?"

"What are you trying to say?"

"You think you're caring for these girls, but you're not. I see it all of the time. Those smiles are slowly fading every day."

"Mutsu, you need to get off of me." Nagato tried to push her off, but Mutsu grabbed her wrist and pushed them back on the ground. She lowered her head and stared her in the eyes.

"Nagato, you try to do everything by yourself. You don't let anyone help you either. I try my hardest to always be by your side, but it just feels like you don't even know I exist." Nagato was about to interject, but she noticed that tears started to form in Mutsu's eyes. Also, she wasn't even trying to hold back. She wanted Nagato to see this… for both of their sakes. "Do I not exist? Am I not important to you?"

"Y-You are. You do exist."

"Then why do you treat me like I don't." Tears started to fall from her face as they dropped onto Nagato's face.

"Because…"

"Because you don't really love. I thought I could show you my love in hopes that you would notice it, but I guess I was wrong." Mutsu wiped her eyes clean. "You can stay with me, but I promise to not be a bother to you anymore." Mutsu tried to climb off, but Nagato grabbed her wrist and pulled her back down onto her body. She wrapped her arms and around her body and held her as close as she could.

"It's true. I treated you horribly and you have every reason to hate me. However, I did it for a purpose. I didn't want to see you get hurt. Seeing you happy was the one thing I cherished the most. If I kept you close to my heart, just the thought of hurting you would be too much to bear. I couldn't let that happen. That's why I did what I did. Protecting you was my top priority. Nothing could have changed that." Mutsu slowly raised her body and looked down at Nagato. She wanted to say so much to her, but it was obvious that she wasn't lying. What she just said was completely true. It just took her this long to finally come around. "I guess it's worthless trying to hide it now. Mutsu, I…" At that moment, Mutsu pressed her lips against Nagato's and stole her breath away. When they broke away after a few seconds, Nagato tried to say something, but Mutsu pressed her finger against her lips.

"You don't need to say it. I understand now."

"But…"

"Nagato, it's fine. Keep it to yourself and I'll keep it to myself as well."

 _But I do love you._

The End

 **Ending Note:** I hope you enjoyed the story and I'm sorry for the abrupt ending. I've got a lot of things going on right now as school's starting back up with a lot of things still left on my plate. When things start to settle down again, I promise I'll come up with another story worthy of reading.


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